OK, football fans, we're into the waning days of football season (I think), and by now you're starting to wonder if your team will be in the playoffs, or, then again, maybe the playoffs have already started. I'm not sure. Will the Rams beat the Colts? Is there a team in Indianapolis anymore? I know Miami still has the Dolphins, and I know New England still has the Patriots, even though they should call them the Boston Patriots, but, ever mindful of additional cash in wallets outside of the Boston city limits, they slather the team with a multi-state allegiance. Here in Maine we're supposed to go weak in the knees over this team, even though if you drive 495 around Boston, grab the Mass Pike with your eyes shut because those people drive like bumper car maniacs, and shoot through CT into New York, you can choose from a mess of football teams down there, something like five or six of them in one state alone, and a few more that spilled over into PA because they couldn't find a parking lot to hold their fans plus New Jersey kicked them out in favor of pharmaceutical factories, which I think had something to do with the well-known fact that football stadiums or stadia don't generate enough pollution for Jersey so get the heck out of there. At any rate, there are a lot of teams down that way, like connect the dots, and a lot of you live in that area or other football-prone zones of the USA and Canada (I think Johnny Musso still plays up around the Arctic Circle someplace), and you're gearing up for some serious football action. Whatever that means.
I don't buy into the whole 'fat slob on the couch surrounded by fatty foods' stereotype that we see on sitcoms and in comic strips. I'm willing to agree that some team jerseys are worn, and yes, some quantity of beer may be involved at times, but - and you football fans out there will agree with me here - what's really affecting most football fans at this time of year is just flat out depression; a mind-numbing depression brought on by a feeling of inadequacy, especially accentuated if 'the guys' come over to watch the game with you, all because, as you look around your den, living room, basement, rumpus room, or other chosen viewing chamber, you realize that you've completely forgotten to decorate your football room with anything that looks like a football. Like so many times before, Brettuns Village is here for you, Jocko.
We've got a lot of football leather in stock. Cowhide sides, imprinted with the old pigskin texture, and in the same color as an NFL football. In fact, this leather was tanned specifically to be made into footballs, but it was left over. These sides never got called up. Sat on the bench. Pitiful. Nothing wrong with them, the texture, temper, color, finish, etc is all fine, they just didn't get that call. I've marked them down to $40 per side (18-20 sq ft) and that includes shipping to your door if you're in the 48 contigugridironous states. Look, Coach Landry, UPS runs about $11 to get one of these sides from us to you, so this very expensive leather is no longer so expensive. It's firm temper, but what I think you need to do is cover the walls with it, cover the bar, the barstools, make some pants (you won't be able to bend your knees but just stand up and enjoy the game - you're that much closer to high fives that way). Toss one over the couch. For forty bucks just look at it. These are on the Sides page, which used to live down the road from the Tools page, right about here:
That's our big November Sale. Big deal. Continuing with the football theme:
Remember when Mr. Magoo would go to a Rutgers game? What did he wear? Always the same thing, right? He had the Rutgers penant in one hand, and that hat that was turned up in the front like Agarn on F Troop, and, he wore - come on - what was it? A raccoon coat. Big and furry. if you check our 'Hair-on Hides and Furs' page on the site you'll note that we have some new additions on there, including fur coat collars. It's a start, Mr. Maglooo, as Charlie would say. Also some nutria furs. Nutria - ever hear of them? Call your cousins in Houma, LA; they'll explain it to you. We've also added mink tails to that page, just in case you stepped on the tail of your pet mink and, well, you get the idea. The hairy page is here:
Get your deer yet?
Churchill Barton, ESPN Consultant
Brettuns Village Leather